Silly Shit

I posted something on the ol’ Facebook the other day that generated a lot of amusement for me. Feel free to click the link if you want to see the original post, it’s in there somewhere.
Til then, I’m going to waste a huge chunk of my time today writing some more of these.

My favorite thing is Metal Gear
To me it is immensely dear
I love the wealth of such necessary stealth
But I also love murdering the ever-loving shit out of every enemy I see, because screw those guys

Pearls are just oyster shit
Formed slowly, bit by bit
Then we throw them onto some stupid girl who
Doesn’t realize we just gave her a ball of shit for her birthday

There once was a dog named Cat
He barked at the drop of a hat
Until one day when the snow plow came
And he got ran over while he was frolicking in the snow like a jackass.

Puberty is a man’s best friend
Not dogs, as your mom may contend
It makes you grow hair in a place way down there
Until you realize bitches don’t like that, so it’s just one more place to shave after that.

The dinner I made was great
My girlfriend left a nice, empty plate
She doesn’t do the dishes, despite my gentle wishes
That woman seriously treats me like shit, I’m done cooking for her.

A crow once flew into my room
Sure that he would not meet his doom
He stood proudly above the bed I so love
So I beat him to death with a shoe before he shat on my pillows.

The clouds above were gray
It was sure to rain this day
I quickly ran home and remained all alone
And then it never rained because weather is stupid like that.

I used to play baseball
Until I took a big fall
The sound was well heard as I slid into third
And promptly shattered both of my wrists because the coach never taught me how to slide properly.

I’ll probably write more of these at some point in my life. I’ve started thinking them up with nearly every word I see or hear. Feel free to join in, or hell, give me a word to work from.

Til next time.

Effects of Pointless Video Gaming

A lot of attention is paid to violent movies and video games when it comes to finding a scapegoat. I do not wholly approve of this, but at the same time I wonder if it’s a possibility. Not to say they’re truly responsible; after all, there is no single reason behind a vast majority of actions, but rather a large collective of past events, thoughts, and life choices fueling even the smallest decisions.

No, I am instead wondering if they can at least play a part in inducing desires for an impossible, unattainable future. I grew up playing these games and I’ve always wanted my own adventure. Who hasn’t? Establish yourself as a force to be reckoned with, condemn and single-handedly dismantle a corrupt, sinister villain’s evil scheme, save the princess. These are exciting fantasies which I have lived through vicariously hundreds of times, so much so that it makes the real world seem a little less…preferable, I suppose is the best word.

Granted, I don’t only play the fantasy stories. I’m also known to engage in the straightforward military shooters, blowing the heads off my enemies without a second thought as to who they were. Does that mean I’ve been desensitized? No, absolutely not. There’s an innate difference between seeing the red polygons splashing around my TV screen and witnessing an act of violence first-hand, one which I don’t think the human mind will ever fail to differentiate.

But at the same time, maybe it makes me less hesitant. Maybe, given the right circumstances, I would be a little quicker to pull the trigger.

This post really has no point. I’m not showing any sympathy for the despicable shooters we’ve seen over the years, nor am I advocating any of the media’s blame game that always follows. I’m just saying I want to save the princess, be the hero, and maybe wipe out an alien planet full of exploding creatures in the process.