Celebrity Celebration

So I just went to check the news this morning.  The first story I see a headline for is North Korea preparing to test a missile launch.  Legitimate news that I’ll read.  Fair enough, what’s next.  Oh, I’ve got a real winner on my hands here: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (I definitely just had to google them to make sure I spelled that right) were “lovey-dovey” on their lunch date!

There are so many things I could say right now.  And I will.

Why in the hell is this on par with news of a potential nuclear attack in the future?  Do you seriously think I’m going to read about this country’s possible annihilation and then say “Oh man, I wonder what those fucking Twilight stars are up to these days”?  No!  That’s got to be the most retarded, confounding thing I’ve ever seen.  Not only that, but this is far from unusual; conversely, I’m mildly surprised that their lunch date didn’t take top billing over the world news.

Why are celebrities so…worshipped, for lack of a better word, in today’s society?  I’m half-tempted to click the link to see if they have a list of what they ate, but I’m honestly too afraid that there will be.  Why?  Why would anyone care what those people do in their free time?  Do you like their movies?  Good for you!  That does NOT mean to need to know every facet of their lives outside of the silver screen.  Sure, it’s fun to know about their work and what they do on set, but my brain starts hemorrhaging when I’m reminded that there are thousands upon thousands of people in the world that are personally invested in what these people, these total strangers, do with every single moment of their lives.  Why?  What is the point?  Who gives a shit about their lives that much?  They’re human, they have the same bullshit drama that you and I do.  These Twilight stars, for instance.  Relationship drama.  Only difference between them and you?  Their job is acting, which for some reason translates into headlines for every petty argument, squabble, lunch date, or whatever else they do.

Did you know that scientists have recently made new advancements on proving how life may have originally formed on Earth?  Or that four Americans were killed in a car bomb in Afghanistan yesterday?  Maybe not.  But I’ll bet you were fully aware about the way Ryan Gosling suddenly stood up for animal rights a few days ago.  Do you not see anything wrong with that, or is it just me?

Look, I respect when actors, burdened with all this fame and glory, use their “power” to try to do the right thing, like Mr. Gosling is doing.  But it’s hardly front-page news, and it’s definitely not more important than world politics and constant (read: needless) loss of American lives.  You know what I think would be just peachy?  If every morning, Joseph Gordon-Levitt got up and read the world news every morning in front of a camera.  Just for ten minutes a day.  I guarantee you, your facebook walls and twitter feeds and whatever else will explode with reposts of that video every day.  Not my ideal solution, but hey, it would certainly get the job done.  Clearly I’m not going to beat this fascination society has with celebrities.  Might as well try to make it positive.

Speaking of twitter….if you got a twitter account just to follow celebrities, then fuck you.  You disgust me.  That’s just the shortest possible way of telling me you needed to be able to tune into that object of your affection any given second of the day to see what mind-numbing bullshit they had to share with the world.  I was going to post some of this morning’s tweets from these celebrities, but I honestly can’t figure out the real accounts from the fake ones.  How do you people use this disgustingly convoluted, glorified messenger service?  You know what, no, I really don’t want to know.

I still think my Joseph Gordon-Levitt idea is a good one.