Random Stream of Consciousness

I haven’t been writing lately. I’ve only added maybe a thousand words in the last two weeks. I have been conflicted about the whole idea, my hopes dashed from within by multiple factors. I am concerned nobody would ever want to read it, and I have good reason to think so.  I can’t even get people to read what I have so far for free, aside from one of my cousins. Not to mention that whole “From the Hollow” self-publishing bullshit I did three weeks ago. There hasn’t been a single sale since I put it up for free for two days. That was…what, two weeks ago? About that. Not one! You know what this means? Simply put, it is generating absolutely NO INTEREST. Plug away as I might, I’m consistently met with remarkable such as “Oh, that sounds interesting, I’ll buy it now!” or “Hey, it’s only a dollar, I support you!”
How about, instead of saying things you think will make me feel better, you can just tell the truth. “No, fuck off, I’m busy.” “I don’t want to read it, I’m not a big reader, I prefer just chilling out with a movie.” “Sorry Nick, but you’re a douchebag and I hate you.” That’s fine! Just stop lying! It’s not like I won’t notice, either. The sales reports are literally at the tip of my finger, I can check them anytime, day or night.
Ugh. The saddest part is I still enjoy writing. I enjoy the challenge brought forth by the creation, fixing the inconsistencies, making it a perfect, harmonic, living world, full of easy-to-believe characters and an impressionable background. I’m just losing faith in the process. What’s the point of going on if nobody gives a single, solitary shit? I want people to read it. I want to be told it sucks, or it’s good, or I have potential. I don’t care what the feedback is, as long as the feedback exists. It serves as proof that someone cared enough to read my work and then discuss it with me. Is that too much to ask?
Yes, apparently, it is.

I’m done ranting. I’m sure I offended some people with this. If they had the spare time to read it. Ha!


Today I shall talk about racism.
I came home from work this evening. My roommate Ian works as a developer for a gaming company, so he often feeds me little tidbits about the industry and keeps up on all the relevant news. Today he told me that the creators of Borderlands 2 (specifically the character of Tiny Tina) was under fire for being racist. Why, you ask? Simple: she used the words “crunk” and “badonkadonk.”
This brings a few questions to mind. Before I get into it, however, I would like to express that I am not racist. I believe we are all equals, I’m pro-choice, pro-gay-marriage…pretty much pro- anything that expresses said equality. Having said that, I must say these seemingly random arguments and accusations infuriate me to no end.
Firstly, since when can an entire race of people “own” a word? Sure, I understand the N word being unacceptable, since it has been used throughout history as a degrading and derogatory word, but “crunk” and “badonkadonk” have nothing similar in that respect. So how is it offensive for a white person – nay, a fictional white child – to use these words? The only reason seems to be reflective of the fact that the black community invented these words. Good for you, I’ll stick with the tried-and-true dictionary and stuff that only white people invented. I’m sure I’ll be fine.
On that note, does that mean only people from Mexico and Spain can speak Spanish? Or only people from France and Canada are allowed to speak French? They invented the language, so clearly we shouldn’t be using it. You know, in case they find it disrespectful in some unfathomable way.
Second, why choose this to single out, of all things? A child in a video game, one which I might add doesn’t even take place on planet Earth, not to mention the fact that one of the four main characters is a black guy. And (spoilers) he dies at the end. You’re okay with them abiding by and even encouraging the oft-used “joke” of killing off the black guy, but a white girl using a slang term for “ass” is beyond the boundaries of acceptability?
Fine, have it your way. If that’s how it’s gonna be, I want a White History Month, as well as the creation of the National Association for the Advancement of White People, just to balance things out a little. Don’t like it? Well, stop being racist and go make some more Tyler Perry movies instead.
To the rest of you, no matter what color, let’s try to be more tolerant of the rampant stupidity that currently plagues our world, especially since the invention of the Internet makes it so easy to spread like wildfire. As they say, “don’t feed the trolls.”